As we celebrate the month dedicated to love, it’s apparent that there’s a crucial aspect often overlooked: the internal source of love.

Amidst the romantic gestures of movies, flowers, chocolates, and Valentine’s Day dinners, society emphasizes an external manifestation of love, fostering expectations that can lead to heartbreak and disappointment when unmet.

Yet, the essence of love originates from within.

In moments of solitude and reflection, we can tap into the boundless reservoir of love within ourselves. By quieting our minds and connecting with our inner selves, we become the primary source of love in our lives.

Prioritizing self-love is essential. When we fill our own love tanks, we approach relationships from a place of abundance rather than lack. Seeking love from an empty vessel only breeds fear, anxiety, and feelings of unworthiness.

It’s imperative to fill our own cups first—halfway, at least—before seeking external validation from family, friends, or partners.

Personally, I neglected my own needs for too long. I poured into others without replenishing my own cup, suppressing my desire for acknowledgment and connection. Self-critical thoughts eroded my self-esteem until I reached a breaking point.

Learning to nourish myself involved meeting fundamental needs:

  1. Connecting with myself deeply.
  2. Acknowledging my achievements.
  3. Embracing freedom.
  4. Indulging in pleasure.


These needs may sound familiar because they are like the love languages for self and also are shown by psychologists to be our basic emotional needs.

By prioritizing these aspects, I learned to embrace my feminine energy, allowing myself to receive, ask for help, and celebrate my successes.

I urge you to pause and ask yourself: What do I need right now?

Is it connection, acknowledgment, freedom, or pleasure?

Once you identify your need, take intentional steps to fulfill it:

  1. Connect with yourself by gazing into the mirror, offering kind words, and taking deep breaths.
  2. Acknowledge your accomplishments by writing them down and savoring the feeling of appreciation.
  3. Embrace freedom through activities that liberate you, whether it’s dancing to your favorite song or indulging in a moment of uninhibited joy.
  4. Prioritize pleasure by treating yourself to a relaxing bath, enjoying your favorite meal, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and comfort.

Commit to meeting your needs daily for the next two weeks, allocating just five minutes each day. Set reminders and be disciplined in honoring yourself. Notice how this practice transforms your demeanor, leaving you feeling centered, energized, and content.

Remember, it takes showing up for you to build something new, it takes practice to make it stick and when you prioritize self-love, you lay the foundation for authentic connections and fulfillment.

May this month be a reminder to nurture the love within yourself, ensuring that any love received from others is simply an enriching addition to the abundance you’ve cultivated within.

Happy Month of Love!

PS – If you find yourself ignoring your needs or simply know you will not show up in this manner for yourself, there is a deeper subconscious block that is holding you back from feeling deserving of love. That is what I as a Love Coach help women do, uncover their deeper subconscious blocks in love so they can heal, deepen their worth and show up deserving. You can connect with me @sashaquincelovecoach on Instagram.

– Sasha Quince