Overcoming uncertainty by Zeta
- Tell us about yourself. What led you to becoming a life coach?
From a young age, there was always something inside of me that wanted to help others see themselves as the awesome being they were. Even at pre-school, I was the kid that would sit with another kid for hours when they were upset. Or help them figure out a way to do what they wanted to do. I became fascinated with human behaviour and did my degree in Psychology. But, like many others, instead of following my heart I followed my head and went down the corporate road. It was only when I got made redundant in 2009 and I re-evaluated my life, I saw I had an opportunity to return to my first love and that’s when I began my journey into coaching. You can read more about my story here https://zetayarwood.com/about-zeta-yarwood-life-coach/ or watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-6pzogb9rg&t=51s
- How has coaching changed your life?
It’s changed my life in two ways. First of all, when you’re working in the personal development industry, you take control of your own personal development. So now I am much more self-aware compared to where I was 10 years ago. Second, my life is the polar opposite of what it once was. I was working a typical 8:30 am to 6:30 am office job. Uninspired during the week and living for the weekends. Now, I dictate the money I earn and the hours I work, the weeks and weekends are not emotionally separated anymore and I enjoy it all. I am playing “big” and putting myself out there with nearly 245,000 followers on LinkedIn and published in over 20 publications worldwide.
- What are the common things people are struggling with nowadays? Why do you think that is?
I can only share the common issues people come to me with. Lack of work-life balance and freedom over time is always something people find challenging. Smartphones mean we’re always connected and are often expected to work long hours, especially in certain industries. In a global economic downturn like we’re in now, people feel the pressure to keep their jobs. They work longer hours and tolerate what they might not normally tolerate if they knew they could easily get another job elsewhere. This results in increased stress, anxiety, anger etc. which then impacts their health and their relationships. A lot of people have had a huge shift in values during COVID and realised they want to prioritise fulfilment more than finances. But the fear of not finding another job, social/peer pressure and fear of failure keep them stuck in jobs they no longer find fulfilling. The demand for my “Getting Clear on Your Career” programme has doubled since July last year. People know they don’t enjoy what they’re doing but don’t know what to do instead. My programme is designed to help people get that clarity so they can move forward doing something they enjoy. Stress and anxiety levels have obviously increased due to COVID. People being in lockdown in an unhappy home, or an unhappy mind, have really struggled. As have extroverts who get their energy from being around others. Fundamentally many of our issues boil down to confidence and self-worth. The moment we believe in our potential to deal with adversity, to achieve our goals and that we’re worthy of success we move forward. A lack of confidence and self-worth can send our lives off on a tangent that’s not right for us.
- Do you feel like people are giving up/demotivated?
50/50. And much of it will come down to self-confidence and self-worth, and whether or not they feel supported in their goals. Even if that’s just self-support. Demotivation comes from a lack of hope. Hope is generated from an internal belief system that everything is possible and we will reach the other side of adversity eventually. People who are prone to have “glass half empty” thought patterns (through no fault of their own but shaped by life experiences) will feel demotivated more quickly and possibly for longer periods of time compared to someone who is naturally more optimistic.
- How can someone work on life goals and plans when everything is uncertain?
Great question. When things are uncertain, it’s difficult to plan. But just because things are uncertain it doesn’t mean they’re impossible. It means planning with adaptability and flexibility will be required. Rigidity in sticking to goals and stepping stones will only stress you out when all of a sudden that stepping stone is no longer an option.
- What are your motivation styles? What keeps you going personally?
I know that when I’m demotivated it’s normally because an old “perfectionist” pattern or “not good enough” pattern is showing up. So I have to challenge the pattern and remind myself that while the pattern is trying to protect me from failure if it stops me from taking action, I will definitely fail. The protection is outdated and unwarranted. I then have to encourage myself to move forward, reminding myself I am good enough, I don’t have to be perfect and even if things go wrong, I am safe and I will cope with it. Focusing on WHY I am doing something also helps. Reminding me what’s important to me about doing what I am doing and what it will give me and how it will benefit others is another strategy.
- How do you help people with career struggle during these uncertain times?
Identifying what the struggle is, exploring what it would be like to let go of the resistance and the struggle and see the situation with a renewed lens. Generally when people let go of the struggle the problem disappears and then they have more clarity of mind to figure out what they want in their careers instead of focusing on what they don’t want. Much of it is also around building their confidence to help them believe in their potential to cope with whatever struggles our careers can bring and tune into their instinct/intuition to know how to keep moving forward.
- How do you encourage people to stay on the right track?
Assuming their priorities haven’t changed, reminding them to remember why they’re doing what they’re doing. The benefits to them and their loved ones if they achieve their goals. Helping them to tap into that part of themselves that does believe they are powerful, capable and worthy of success.
- Can you share some keys on how to be successful and fulfilled at work?
First – get clear on your reasons as to why you go to work. If you can’t motivate yourself to succeed, you won’t succeed. Focus on your WHY every morning and prime that motivation. If you cannot, on any single level, see your job through a lens of enthusiasm or appreciation, it’s a sign it’s time to make a change.
Second – take full responsibility for your success and fulfilment. Do not place them in the hands of your employer or anyone else. If you want to be fulfilled and successful it’s up to you to make that happen. And if your company are blocking that it’s up to you to find the courage to either talk to them about it or find another opportunity elsewhere.
Own your value – success is determined by how much value you add and how much that value is seen and appreciated by those around you. If you’re not clear on your value, you won’t be able to communicate it and then it won’t be seen or appreciated. This also means owning your gaps. Don’t wait for a company to invest in your training. Invest in yourself and close those gaps. This will not only increase your value but also your confidence. Gaps lead to insecurities so close them as best you can.
- What is the importance of work-life integration? What are the effective tips to build work-life integration?
Work-life integration is completely subjective. What’s work-life integration to one person might be hell on earth to someone else. So the first step is to define what work-life integration looks like to you. Get clear on your priorities – how do you want to spend your time, with whom, doing what and why? Then put your biggest priorities in your diary FIRST and plan the rest of your life and career around those things. You might have to make some big decisions, choices and changes to create the vision you want, so it’s having the courage to say “no” to the less important things and “yes” to what’s true to you.
- What advice can you share for someone going through fear and anxiety during this global change?
Fear and anxiety are created when we imagine worst-case scenarios and belief we won’t cope with them. The key is really retraining the brain to let go of future thing and focus on being present, and reminding ourselves in this split second we are fed, clothed, and have a roof over our head. All our needs are being met at this moment and we are safe. We then also have to challenge the beliefs that we have around our ability to cope. We have to tune into that part of us that does believe we are capable and powerful beyond measure. However, to do this we must get the mind and body out of fight or flight. Rational thinking (and feeling) cannot happen in fight or flight. So first, breathing techniques, meditation, EFT, prayer – whatever tool works for you to get you out of fight or flight. Once calm, assess the danger – the reality versus the perception. If just a perception, change the perception. If the danger is real, explore “what’s in my capacity to mitigate or avoid the danger, and reminding myself of power and my potential to face the danger.” If the anxiety or fear is chronic or having a serious negative impact on yourself or your life, always seek medical or professional help.
- What is your favourite quote?
“We paralyze ourselves when we worry about making the RIGHT choice. Pick a path. Give it your all. Learn. Grow. Reassess. Make a change if it feels right. And know, no matter what happens, you can still enjoy your life and be happy.” Lori Deschene
- Share with us your 5 top life tips
- Prioritise your mental health and personal development. This is the foundation of your happiness and success in life.
- Surround yourself with people who value you, encourage you and lift you up.
- Get clear on what’s most important to you in life and build your life around those things. Ignore what everyone else is doing. Focus on what’s most important to you and be true to yourself.
- Material goods, people, careers etc. won’t make you happy. Only you can make you happy. So make sure you have a good relationship with yourself at least 80% of the time.
- Don’t listen to that voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough. It’s lying to you to keep you safe in your comfort zone. You have the potential to do and have what you want and learn what you need to achieve it. Believe in yourself.
Zeta Yarwood, Life Coach